Alisa Miller

Find Out What Kind of Relationship You Are In



Posted: Tuesday, November 04, 2008

by Alisa Miller
http://alisa-miller.com

Every relationship is a deal. It fulfils the needs, dreams and aspirations of each partner in it and it enables them to move forward towards the life they expect to have and dream of realising. The question here, of course, is just how much of the relationship can be governed by this business-like approach and still work?

I know from experience that, broadly-speaking, there are three general types of relationship:

1. The Deal this is where both partners enter into a relationship in a mutually calculating manner, each knowing well what they want and having a full set of expectations in terms of how things will work out and what they will get out of it. Just about every gold-digging marriage, arranged marriages and marriages of convenience fall into this category as do relationships where one partner trades companionship for financial security and the other trades wealth for human warmth. Deal marriages are marriages where large fortunes are involved, estates and most celebrity marriages where career advancement is on the cards.

2. The Vortex in a vortex relationship both partners are equally attracted to each other. Vortex relationships are torrid, passionate affairs and although, as in every relationship each partner wants to get something out of it, in this case the two parties tend to agree on their priorities and targets. Vortex relationships turn into long-lasting marriages and tend to generate a lot of mutual happiness.

3. The Tug as the name suggests tug relationships tend to be one-sided. They are a mix of the Deal and the Vortex with each partner belonging to one of them. A typical example of what can happen in a Tug relationship is this case reported in the London Times of a woman who arranged for her wealthy partner to be killed by a hitman so she can take over his fortune.

Tug relationships can often be deadly mainly because both parties in them are extremely emotional and perhaps equally obsessed but their priorities and aims are often at odds with each other and focused at opposite ends.

I know that, in our civilised world, we tend to dress relationships up and create a romantic mythology around them and this is as it should be. Most relationships start off with a physical attraction and an emotional response. What happens next however very much depends upon how honest each partner will be with themselves first and their partner second.

And honesty is the foremost quality you need in order to make any relationship last.

Alisa Miller is a relationship counselor and relationship author. Her articles on relationships and how to have the perfect marriage have appeared in newspapers and magazines all over the world. She is the author of the Ultimate Guide to the Perfect Relationship which is being translated into three languages and has been read by thousands all over the world. It can be ordered through Amazon or any good bookshop and it is available as an eBook from most quality online eBook outlets. She has written a guide on How to Talk to a Girl you Like  which is available to buy from every online eBook retailer as well as her own website, which she runs herself and which contains hundreds of articles with useful tips and advice. She admits that she spends more time online than she should.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by Chiradeep
 3 years 186 days ago.
85 fans. Follow Chiradeep on twitter!
Very nicely explained. Relationship is the most essential element of human existence. If we fail in it we fail in living our lives.
 
God Bless you Alisa for sharing some important points...
» left by Alisa Miller 3 years 186 days ago.
12 fans. Follow Alisa Miller on twitter!
Thank you so much for commenting on this. You are perfectly right and I really appreciate your comment!!
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