Alisa Miller

Christmas Cheer and Why It’s Always Up To You



Posted: Sunday, December 20, 2009

by Alisa Miller
http://alisa-miller.com

It's that time of the year again when, depending where you stand, you feel either part of an incredible sense of magic and goodwill or terribly alone. Both of these feelings are conscious decisions we make and each requires our full participation in order to occur.

This time, last year, I was writing instructions about how to keep your relationship intact over Christmas and it is only in retrospect that we begin to realize just how wrong this is, even though, statistically speaking it is realistic. It led me to ask myself ‘why?' – why does Christmas have the capacity to bring out the best and worst in us? Why are we capable of going to extremes to help a charity out and give, anonymously, money we can hardly afford to give and, at the same time, take stock of the year that's passed and end relationships which themselves many have lasted years?

There are no easy answers to this which means either that the question is too broad or that it touches upon primal and ill-understood impulses. The fact remains that Christmas is a time when, for better or worse, we are given to introspection and introspection brings with it a certain degree of decision- making. Taking stock of our lives has the ability to present us with a summary of sorts which then demands that we do something about what we see.

New year resolutions are so popular precisely because we do not want to ‘go through another year like that' and it is this sense of not wanting to repeat what we see as mistakes of the past that often leads to Christmas relationship breakups and divorces. The point here, of course, is that it is always up to us. How we feel and what we do about it and when depends upon the kind of life we decide to live and the kind of life we want to have.

There is a magic inherent in this time of the year which is hard to refute and which we can either choose to ignore (and feel miserable) or choose to allow ourselves to experience and feel part of it. Christmas is special because we allow ourselves to feel that way about it and this is also applicable to everything else we do in our lives. So whether you subscribe to the ‘Christmas? – Humbug!' or ‘Peace to all men' camp, it is always you who actively make it be one or the other. No one else.

Alisa Miller is a relationship counselor and relationship author. Her articles on relationships and how to have the perfect marriage have appeared in newspapers and magazines all over the world. She is the author of the Ultimate Guide to the Perfect Relationship which is being translated into three languages and has been read by thousands all over the world. It can be ordered through Amazon or any good bookshop and it is available as an eBook from most quality online eBook outlets. She has written a guide on How to Talk to a Girl you Like  which is available to buy from every online eBook retailer as well as her own website, which she runs herself and which contains hundreds of articles with useful tips and advice. She admits that she spends more time online than she should.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by Dave Potchak
 2 years 152 days ago.
29 fans.
Some great points to ponder ! Many people feel that seasonal depression in general is out of their control, but you have given some good indications that we are in control more than we might first think. Good to see you back at writing too. Dave Potchak of Po's Peek at the Past
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